To me, there's no greater feeling than knowing I've helped someone in a time of need. Regrettably, though, it took a tsunami to show me just how narrow my thinking has been when it comes to lending a hand. When Sri Lanka, Thailand, India and Indonesia were ravaged by the worst tsunami in decades, not only did I feel a deep sense of sorrow for the victims, but I also realized for the first time how selfish I've been, limiting my benevolence to those I know, while overlooking people and causes beyond the imaginary border I've created for myself. To think that only a few days before, I had begun to wonder why the desire to reach out and lend a hand or encourage someone in need had all but left me. I'd never been one to shy away from offering support. On rare occasions, it has been financial assistance, but more often than not, it has been one of those "you can do it, just believe you can," pep talks that we all need from time to time. Sometimes it has been as simple as sharing some of my less-than-stellar personal experiences as a way to reassure them that if I can still be positive about life despite all that I've been through, then there's still hope for them. Whatever the case, I have come to realize that the relative success, sanity and peace I enjoy are linked to my willingness over the years to disengage from being the driven personality I am most of the time, and to spend some quality time trying to give others motivation and support. When I reflect on how I had all but convinced myself that my Scrooge-like attitude had nothing to do with me, but rather with other people's unwillingness to heed good advice, or their own lack of motivation, I feel ashamed. The destruction, loss of life and sheer trauma caused by the Indian Ocean tsunami makes it painfully clear that we live in a world prone to natural disasters of enormous magnitude and always beyond our control. And perhaps even more disturbing I think we also live in a world at war, where destruction, loss of life and trauma are caused by our own doing. The new year affords me an opportunity to move beyond the comfort zone of family and friends, into a larger world where there are causes of every sort and multitudes of people in need of a helping hand. I'm not one for making resolutions; I gave that up a long time ago. But, I do plan to be more "resolute" this year when it comes to reaching out to those in need. As a matter of fact, to start the year off right I contacted the American Red Cross and made a donation to the tsunami relief fund. It's a small step, I know, but a step nonetheless, and one I plan to make more and more this year. Still, even though I feel blessed to have a larger purpose in life now, I'm just a little bit disappointed in myself that it took the devastation of a tsunami to bring me around. Kelvin De'Marcus Allen can be reached at mailto:kda@kevindallen.com |